Dropping out of univesity : Wed Sep 25, 2013 9:40 pm  

Anyone done it or experienced it? Regrets?

Sadly, we've got to collect young Miss D tomorrow and try to sort things out. She didn't even see Freshers Week out. In fact she had blown out first day but we've tried to encourage her to think about it and give it a chance. Seems her mind is made up. Bit annoyed that she may have taken a place someone else could have had but maybe they could still give it to someone via clearing? Also, seems a waste for someone with all her good GCSE's and A levels.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:43 pm  

I wish I'd never had gone to Uni when I did. My parents were both teachers and it was the done thing. Should have carried on my rugby. I would back her fully into getting an apprentaship somewhere so she can find out what really interests her and what she wants to do with the rest of her life. I only know a handful of people who are working as what they studied to do. She has plenty of time on her side. My wife went to Uni in her late 20s and got a 1st in physio and is loving her job. I'd say doing Uni when maturer will get better results anyway as there is so much pressure on getting vexed etc. don't worry it will be ok.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:51 am  

Be supportive of her. Ask her why she felt the need to drop out, and let her answer when she is ready.

Rid your mind of thinking that she's taken someone else's place or inconvenienced people. She's your daughter, she's about 400 billion times more important than the imaginary person who you'll never know.

Also bear in mind that this could all be over something that's not even related to uni.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:57 am  

She didn't take anyone else's place, that concept went out with my generation when universities were free but places strictly limited, today you'll get in as long as you sign the debt form and they'll take every single one who will particularly on courses (ie the majority of them) which involve very little classroom/lecture room time and lots of "home" study and downloading work, my eldest's law degree was probably only 25% spent in a university premise and some of her student colleagues barely attended half of those sessions.

As for her decision, in the long run and depending on what she was going to study it could be virtually meaningless but you probably need to have a sensible, supportive discussion over what her reasons were, she obviously realised very quickly that this was a huge mistake, was it the wrong course or living away from home - if you still want her to have a further education there will be options for other courses in your locality where she can study based at home, there will be non-degree qualifications in your locality that have practical career implications, the only thing you need to do is find out what it is she wants (which might not be easy), getting angry isn't going to help at all.

My own experience with two daughters now out of further education is that one has a law degree and is working in a large law practice with in-work training towards further qualifications while the other did not go to Uni but took some vocational qualifications for two years at a further education college (all for free incidently, no student fees to pay) and is now working at the same law firm as her sister.

Anything is possible, University is not a passport to future wealth, a willingness to work hard and impress employers is.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:41 am  

Dally wrote:

...Also, seems a waste for someone with all her good GCSE's and A levels.

I don't know her reasons or her personality but it's not necessarily a waste of GCSEs/A levels, it depends on what sort of career she actually wants to do, she might be a lot better off seeking professional qualifications and getting a few years head-start on that rather than getting a degree in something that she'll never look at again.
Not knowing the whole situation, the only advice I'd offer would be that, although you quite naturally want to be proud of her, you should avoid imposing your own aspirations onto her.
Best of luck.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:49 am  

I dropped out of higher education when my dad died, I couldn't focus on anything and needed to get a job, regretted it every day of my life but in hindsight would never have passed with my mental state at the time. Just bad timing all around, I wouldn't pressure her but I would try to get to the route cause. Maybe a year off or moving closer to home could be a solution?

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:51 am  

I think if your daughter knows that university is not the right path for her, she has already shown her maturity. I decided not to go to university the conventional way part way through my A-levels. Got a job which trained me through a degree (albeit unnecessary for my job) and I am in a far better position than all of my friends that did go to university. The only people that have bought houses and got good jobs out of my friends seem to be the ones that didn't go to university.

My partner went to university conventionally and thoroughly enjoyed it. Came home with a very good degree and got a city job that she liked for about 6 months. After 3 years and making her nearly go insane, she quit. She volunteered for 3 years while undertaking a foundation degree as a gardener and now has her dream job. She might not earn quite as much as she did, but the smile on her face after every day is worth a million pounds!

Contrary to what the school's career advice person says, a degree is not a passport to a successful job and as other have said, it is all about hard work and a willingness to learn and do a good job.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:55 am  

Any idea why ?

Was it a course related thing or a living away from home/friends issue?

Is a different course or more local route to higher education a viable option?

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:20 am  

I didn't go back after my first year, and things worked out OK for me.

Interestingly, the big IT company I work for has a real focus on helping Unis retain their students. With a student equating to around £9K a year, there can be a business case for expense that helps with student retention. Some good data and clever analytics software can really help this. Not sure it would really have picked out someone leaving after day one though!

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:05 pm  

I dropped out half way through a 4 year course.
I just hit a brick wall... Woke up one morning and thought "I've had enough of studying", and my mind was made up. It upset my parents no end, especially my Mum (God bless her), so I made myself a promise to succeed along a career path (although I'd no idea at the time as to what I really wanted to do!)

I was always science minded, so I got myself a job in a lab, in a position well below my capabilities. However, I simply worked hard, worked my way up, took a diversion into sales and then onto product management. All the way through my career I was supported by my employers in the form of additional training courses as and when required.

(Eventually, I completed my degree via the OU, in my own time, and at my own expense, just to prove to myself that I could do it! , and although it's had no affect whatsoever on my career path, having a BSc after my name is good kudos! )

I put all the support down to me showing committment and enthusiasm, coupled with hard work, and I'm sure similar principles prevail today.