Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:35 pm  

Maybe she's just not ready for it all yet. Another year at home with some work experience, paid or voluntary, might make a big difference. You get her company for a while longer too.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:38 pm  

I wouldn't think that the dropping out is necessarily a major problem – as mentioned by several posters, there are plenty of alternative ways forward that are at least as good – but the main question would be what direction she wants to go in.

If she's confused at present and doesn't know, would it be perhaps be better to persuade her to go back while she rethinks things?

Or is there an opportunity for her to spend some time away to try and work things out and find some clarity?

I don't know whether this is the case, but it can be very intimidating and difficult your young people if they have little or no experience of being away from close family. It's a huge jolt.

Would the university, in such situations, be prepared to let her start next autumn?

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:20 pm  

Congratulations to your daughter for having a mind of her own and not following the rest of the sheep into debt. After all she will only get a piece of paper telling her how clever she is.

Unfortunately, this generation have all been brainwashed or emotionally forced into higher education. Just a way of keeping unemployment figures down. There is no guarantee of work at the end of the course. It's not what you know, but who you know.

I have a daughter in her final year. Her debt is relatively small compared to her friends who live in university grounds, approx £15k each. They have pretty much been told that there are not enough jobs for them all ( teachers) when they finish their course, of which, it works out at roughly 15 hours per week of lectures, that's if some don't get cancelled, which is quite often.

Once your daughter sees that 1st pay packet, she'll forget about university. There is no greater incentive than money.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:26 pm  

toast wrote:

Congratulations to your daughter for having a mind of her own and not following the rest of the sheep into debt. After all she will only get a piece of paper telling her how clever she is...

Well, unless she was about to train to be a doctor or a vet or a nuclear physicist or a lecturer in ancient history or ...

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:26 pm  

toast wrote:

... After all she will only get a piece of paper telling her how clever she is...

Well, unless she was about to train to be a doctor or a vet or a nuclear physicist or a lecturer in ancient history or ...

There's an issue with young people being shunted into forms of tertiary education that may not be needed, may be inappropriate for them etc, but there are still plenty of careers where a university education would be the best option if not downright essential.

[DaveO]

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:57 pm  

Dally wrote:

Anyone done it or experienced it? Regrets?

Sadly, we've got to collect young Miss D tomorrow and try to sort things out. She didn't even see Freshers Week out. In fact she had blown out first day but we've tried to encourage her to think about it and give it a chance. Seems her mind is made up. Bit annoyed that she may have taken a place someone else could have had but maybe they could still give it to someone via clearing? Also, seems a waste for someone with all her good GCSE's and A levels.

A friend of ours daughter has just done the same thing in that she lasted less than a week in York. She is very bright but as decided to try for a place at Chester Uni which is of course her home town.

A different institution might suit your daughter or going in a years time may be an idea.

Another alternative is to study from home at the Open University. Very highly regarded if I say so myself (as you probably know I work as a tutor for them in my spare time) and the number of people under 25 enrolling is on the increase probably in part due to the fact the fees are £5K for a full years study than £9K at a traditional Uni. You still get your student loan to study there.

My son went to Uni last year and while as a parent leaving them there for the first time is a day of mixed emotions we did see some students (and parents) in a right old state and you could almost tell it wasn't going to last but whatever the reason she decided to leave for, assuming she wants a degree education there are plenty of alternatives and she doesn't have to do it right now.

If I was in your situation I'd try and encourage her to try again in a years time. Going to University was for me one of the best times of my life and I learned a hell of a lot more than just Computer Science.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 3:30 pm  

Maybe university is right for her but its a bit early and not the right time for her.

If she is dropping out during Freshers Week then its not going to be because of the course, its probably something like:
- she is not ready to leave home yet
- she didn't fit in with the other students so didn't think she would make friends

It doesn't meant she can't give it another go in the future, at the moment she will probably feel a bit of a failure though so best to keep her spirits and ego up and no point giving her a hard time about it.

I know some people say you should give something a proper go before giving up etc but the other side to that coin is a quick decision is sometimes best when you really know you are doing the wrong thing. One of my flatmates at uni hated his course and was unhappy at uni from the start, but he tried to 'guts it out' and had teh same problems through 1st and 2nd year and ended up dropping out in 3rd year which was a far more costly decision.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:07 pm  

DaveO wrote:

Another alternative is to study from home at the Open University. Very highly regarded if I say so myself (as you probably know I work as a tutor for them in my spare time) and the number of people under 25 enrolling is on the increase probably in part due to the fact the fees are £5K for a full years study than £9K at a traditional Uni. You still get your student loan to study there.

You know, thats a bloody good piece of advice, as I mentioned my eldest on her law degree course may as well have just stayed at home on the days she went to lectures, and then the lectures were all available to download on the same presentation slides that the lecturer had used anyway - just drawing a line underneath the whole Uni idea and spending almost 50% less on a home study degree is almost the same thing !

Plus, she could probably finance most of that with a part time job too !

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Thu Sep 26, 2013 5:48 pm  

Mystic Yed wrote:

I dropped out of higher education when my dad died, I couldn't focus on anything and needed to get a job, regretted it every day of my life but in hindsight would never have passed with my mental state at the time. Just bad timing all around, I wouldn't pressure her but I would try to get to the route cause. Maybe a year off or moving closer to home could be a solution?

I did the same, however it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I decided I wasn't going back.

Re: Dropping out of univesity : Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:03 pm  

Freshers' week is all drinking to excess and sex, with the occasional 'welcome' lecture thrown in.

It's a difficult time, particularly for girls. Friendship groups are starting to form, and if your face does not fit then you can feel very isolated. The lads will be out for lashy + smashy and any girl who puts out will probably instantly get labelled a slag.

That said, the people I was 'friends' with for the first few weeks of uni were not the people I was friends with for the rest of the course.

What course was she doing and where? Is there likely to be any long-term benefit in it, or was it just going to be a huge pile of debt and a BA in social policy?