Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get loved by dicks. But dicks also love assholes: assholes that just want to poop on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can love an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they love too much or love when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of poop that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us love this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in poop!
"Matt Damon"
"Chris: Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your loving balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you poop, you'll poop all over your balls, got it?
Gary Johnston: What's your problem with me?
Chris: Yeah, you wanna go?
Joe: Guys, guys, guys! Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do? The war is out there, man! Out there! Now, pull it together! "
Team America
"Ol' Jack always says... what the hell?"
"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."
Jack Burton: Big Trouble in Little China
