Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:22 pm  

It's my Scouse nephew's birthday tomorrow, so as a surprise, I've put £10 in his nan's purse.

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:38 pm  

Olympic Update:

Today, the Polish took gold, silver and bronze.

As well as copper, lead, steel and any other scrap metal they could find.

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:18 pm  

Chinese swimming coach states that results have improved immeasurably since the dismal performances at Morecambe 2004.

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:12 pm  

Somalia have been chucked out of the olympics, apparently they didn't know sailing and shooting were two different events

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:00 pm  

rover49 wrote:

Somalia have been chucked out of the olympics, apparently they didn't know sailing and shooting were two different events

Latest results in the yachting
Great Briatain take gold
New Zealand take silver
and the Somalians have taken a middle-aged couple from Weymouth

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:36 pm  

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact on the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,



'Oh Mum! You don't have to worry your head about that! I'm dating Susan!'

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:20 pm  

'kin 'ell!!!!
Yorkshire's won loads of medals at The Olympics, and they've still got chance of another gold in Peter Sutcliffe with the hammer



I'll get me coat

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:06 am  

lefty goldblatt wrote:

'kin 'ell!!!!
Yorkshire's won loads of medals at The Olympics, and they've still got chance of another gold in Peter Sutcliffe with the hammer



I'll get me coat

Tell the 1970's I said 'hello'.

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Wed Aug 15, 2012 4:54 pm  

Liam Gallagher, Russell Brand, George Michael, Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell...
... it's a good job they don't do drug tests for the closing ceremony.

(thanks to Sickipedia)

Re: Jokes Thread 2 : Wed Aug 15, 2012 5:34 pm  

BREAKING NEWS:

RVP has failed his medical at Man United. Doctors say its a back problem which was caused by carrying Arsenal for the past year