Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:37 pm  

Ferocious Aardvark wrote:

One of the funniest men I've ever seen was Les Dawson.

I couldn't tell you what I think is his funniest joke, but here's a couple:

"I’ve got a friend who's a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher, until he lost his nerve."

"The people next door are awful. At three o’clock this morning they were banging on the walls and screaming. Good job I wasn’t trying to sleep — I was playing my drums at the time."

"My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren’t that lonely."

"The mother-in-law is so ugly, when she goes on holiday, the mosquitoes draw lots to see who is going to bite her"

"In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an amber'd chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space; wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet."

"There was a commotion outside, so I ran out into the street, and there I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' "

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:18 pm  

What's red & invisible?

No Tomatoes

(Stephen Fry)

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:24 pm  

Doddy is a legend. Still funny and can still sell out a venue.

My favourite is one from the great Tommy Cooper:

"I rang a builders merchants and said, 'I want a skip outside my house'. The man said, 'well I'm not stopping you.'"

Clean, fast and genuinely funny. In fact, you can pick 100 Tommy one-liners.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 14, 2013 9:45 am  

Diablo1967 wrote:

Doddy is a legend. Still funny and can still sell out a venue.

My favourite is one from the great Tommy Cooper:

"I rang a builders merchants and said, 'I want a skip outside my house'. The man said, 'well I'm not stopping you.'"

Clean, fast and genuinely funny. In fact, you can pick 100 Tommy one-liners.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 14, 2013 12:54 pm  

Standee wrote:

Doddy needs to pack it in, he hasn't been funny for 20 years, should have followed Russ Abbotts example

After reading your dour, whinging, sour posts for the last couple of years, I can see you have absolutely no sense of humour.

Happiness hurts for you, I'm guessing.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:07 am  

Diablo1967 wrote:

After reading your dour, whinging, sour posts for the last couple of years, I can see you have absolutely no sense of humour.

Happiness hurts for you, I'm guessing.

He does give Victor Meldrew a run for his money.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Fri Nov 15, 2013 7:51 pm  

Can't quite see what was so terrible that he got banned for a while.
But what the heck.