Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 3:43 pm  

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/21/wedding-hamper-sparks-furious-row-bride-complains-cheap-embarrassing-gift_n_3477237.html Frankly the bride in the story above sounds like the sort of person you should immediately strike from your christmas card list and then pop down your local bookies and put a fiver on "It won't last beyond two years". But it got me thinking, what or when was the last time I gave a wedding gift, and you know, I can't remember. From memory it must have been the wedding of my C list celebrity cousin and his B list celebrity bride at the castle wedding that they threw to a gaggle of similar TV celebrities, that was the wedding where I deliberately went out and bought the cheapest new suit I could find knowing that everyone else would be wearing clothing that had cost the same as a small African country's GDP, but even I had to accept that the £25 Matalan suit that I tried on looked like a bag of rags, so went for the £35 one instead - no-one commented. For that wedding my brother and I put £50 in a card for them, so £25 each then, or if you count the wives, £12.50 each, our kid and me ate more than that in marshmellows and jelly babies at the chocolate fountain, after we'd shoved all the kids to one side of course. At my own wedding (30 years this year, Ronnie Kray served less), we didn't do too badly and received two lots of presents because one of my wifes brothers had got married just a month before we did and their wedding ended in a huge fight at the reception in which all of my wifes side of the family walked out, except me, well they'd just started to serve the food and I was bloody starving - anyway, all of her family gave HIS wedding presents to us, then a few weeks later gave us OUR wedding presents, for a while my small one bedroomed, two roomed flat looked like an Argos distribution warehouse and we were alright for toasters and cheese boards for ages, AGES. So what do you consider to be acceptable for a donation to the married couple ? And what do you make of those "wedding lists" from retail outlets, the one that they send you with the invite with a "suggestion" that you consult with the retail outlet to see which of the presents hasn't yet been bought so that you can put your name down for it ?

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/21/wedding-hamper-sparks-furious-row-bride-complains-cheap-embarrassing-gift_n_3477237.html Frankly the bride in the story above sounds like the sort of person you should immediately strike from your christmas card list and then pop down your local bookies and put a fiver on "It won't last beyond two years". But it got me thinking, what or when was the last time I gave a wedding gift, and you know, I can't remember. From memory it must have been the wedding of my C list celebrity cousin and his B list celebrity bride at the castle wedding that they threw to a gaggle of similar TV celebrities, that was the wedding where I deliberately went out and bought the cheapest new suit I could find knowing that everyone else would be wearing clothing that had cost the same as a small African country's GDP, but even I had to accept that the £25 Matalan suit that I tried on looked like a bag of rags, so went for the £35 one instead - no-one commented. For that wedding my brother and I put £50 in a card for them, so £25 each then, or if you count the wives, £12.50 each, our kid and me ate more than that in marshmellows and jelly babies at the chocolate fountain, after we'd shoved all the kids to one side of course. At my own wedding (30 years this year, Ronnie Kray served less), we didn't do too badly and received two lots of presents because one of my wifes brothers had got married just a month before we did and their wedding ended in a huge fight at the reception in which all of my wifes side of the family walked out, except me, well they'd just started to serve the food and I was bloody starving - anyway, all of her family gave HIS wedding presents to us, then a few weeks later gave us OUR wedding presents, for a while my small one bedroomed, two roomed flat looked like an Argos distribution warehouse and we were alright for toasters and cheese boards for ages, AGES. So what do you consider to be acceptable for a donation to the married couple ? And what do you make of those "wedding lists" from retail outlets, the one that they send you with the invite with a "suggestion" that you consult with the retail outlet to see which of the presents hasn't yet been bought so that you can put your name down for it ?

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 3:54 pm  

my experience nowadays is that people who get married have lived either on their own and already own most things they actually want/need, or have lived together for a while so he owns what she's let him keep and she has everything she "needs", so I don't tend to buy presents, usual gift is some currency for the country they are going to on honeymoon (if they are even bothering) and the words "have a couple of beers and enjoy yourselves" in the card.

It does get me onto the wider issues of presents as a whole, my family have pretty much stoped giving each other stuff for Birthdays/Christmas, we all like different things and our tastes for what we really want are so different that the chances of genuinely getting it "right" are pretty slim, I can't see the point of paying the kind of money my Dad does for some of his Golf equipment, likewise they can't see any value in aa £200 ski pass for a week for me.

When was the last time someone bought you something that was a genuine surprise that you actually liked and was the same type of stuff you'd buy for yourself, even previous partners have rarely managed it for me, and I am pretty sure that, other than jewellery on significant birthdays/occasions, I got it totally wrong more often than not.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:14 pm  

I think the worst/best present that I ever got from anyone was a piece of genuine moose poo that my brother brought me back from Alaska once - that was all he brought me back and he said that as soon as he saw it on the road he thought of me.

Thats a true story.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:26 pm  

I once got a trouser press!

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:39 pm  

Back to weddings. I usually buy a 'nice' wedding card from Card Factory and purchase a Debenhams/BHS gift card for £10 or £20 depending on my relationship with the couple.

As has been mentioned, many couples who get married have lived together for a length of time they already have traditional wedding gift items like toasters, kettles etc.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 9:21 pm  

The article seems to make reference to Laura and her bride. This must be an error. I might ping them an e mail and get them to correct it.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:07 pm  

Peckerwood wrote:

As has been mentioned, many couples who get married have lived together for a length of time they already have traditional wedding gift items like toasters, kettles etc.

That was true for the Mrs and I. We didn't really need anything for the house so looked at the honeymoon instead and various online options.

We could have asked guests simply to contribute to the cost but felt that was a little too mercenary, so we put a 'wish list' together - people could contribute and pay for a boat trip, a meal, a bottle of champagne for the flight, airport lounge, jet ski ride, massage, scuba dive, etc, etc, etc.

Worked a treat. It was surprising just how much people were willing to put in, and it ended up paying for the majority of the honeymoon.

That bride in the article wants a f*cking slap. If I invite someone to my wedding it's because I want them there. I've instigated it and I'll pay for it. I felt guilty people forked out for hotel rooms to stay over and certainly wouldn't expect a gift of any sort unless the person wanted to. Not everyone was in a position to splash the cash and I respect that, was just happy they could attend.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:44 pm  

It was two women who were getting married.

Even if I was for same-sex marriage (I'm pretty much anti-marriage anyway, have no real opinions on same-sex marriage) I think I'd have been tempted to reply to her that as it wasn't even a real marriage anyway it only deserved a crappy gift.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:53 am  

I was once invited to a customer's wedding and bought the happy couple a pair of garden shears. Not quite as practical as it may seem, the groom lost his left arm in a motorcycle crash as a young man.

I also bought them a Doulton crystal tantalus but that came out of company expenses

Many years ago I also attended the wedding of a customer's daughter. It was a Jewish wedding and a totally off-the-wall experience. At the ceremony, the bride was the only female on the floor of the synagogue, all other women, girls and pre-barmitzvah boys were packed into the balconies and random blokes were popping to their feet, wailing something in yiddish before sitting down again - weird. When I asked the bride's father what gift would be appropriate, I was told in no uncertain terms not to bother. At the reception, as the bride and groom danced alone, people approached them and pinned money to her dress. By the time they'd finished she looked as if her dress had been sewn from high-denomination banknotes. I reckon she waltzed out of the reception with over £10k on her dress.

Re: Wedding Gifts : Sat Jun 22, 2013 6:53 am  

For a mates wedding earlier this year I gave the couple a football acca bet

If it came off they would have got around £600 but one team cost them!