Thanks for the advice.
Went back to bed as you suggested.
House was hit by a lorry - roof collapsed. Woken up from my slumbers surrounded by broken tiles, plaster and fibreglass. Picked up the phone to dial the insurance - electric shock, followed by phone going dead. Tried the mobile - insurance company gone into administration due to credit crunch. Phone lorry company about their insurance - turns out the lorry was stolen, but because the keys had been left in it, the insurance is not liable. Lorry company won't pay up because it wasn't their driver who caused the damage. Try phoning citizens advice - phone battery goes flat. Charger had been crushed under collapsed roof. Car smashed up by falling masonry. Walk into town. CAB has closed down - nearest one is 10 miles away. No money for bus fare. Couldn't find autobank or credit cards in debris, earlier. Go back home - looters have pinched the telly and the DVD player. Currently at girlfriend's house using her computer.
Don't offer me any more advice, chis - you're not very good at it.
