Re: Ryan Bailey : Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:10 pm  

leeds owl wrote:

Clearwing wrote:

It seems utterly bizarre to focus on a handful of (alleged) instances of faked depression in the face of the statistical evidence and peer-reviewed literature that confirm depression to be both widespread and under-reported within the population. As for knowing Bailey for 25 years, I dare say Gary Speed's death - just one example of many - came as a shock to some who'd known him for a similar period. Many people show a tremendous capacity for hiding what's inside.

I'm sure their could be under reporting of depression within our population, but it would be extremely naive to think that "fake" depression is not also under reported. Unfortunately, human nature is to take advantage of anything that could could possibly give us a bit of a "leg up" in certain situations. Fake depression will be used as a tool by many people on a daily basis in this country, it's just the way society works. As depression becomes more widely diagnosed, a number of those diagnosed, possibly growing, will be bogus. I've known more than a handful of people feign depression, to receive enhanced redundancy payments, to receive a smaller prison sentence, and some to just make their lives generally easier for themselves. I've also lost friends to suicide, and have wider family members that are diagnosed and medicated for depression. Depression is a terrible thing to suffer, but also it has become more acceptable to "adopt" the condition when it suits certain people's circumstances.

Steady on mate - You can't come on here talking about harsh realities that there are plenty of unscrupulous people - you've got no empathy, no heart.... You want to kick a man whilst he's down...

Interestingly, we put all our managers where I work through a counselling course run by the mental health charity MIND (we had poor absence records, with lots of work related stress). The course was aimed at identifying signs of mental illness and preparing our managers for conversations - enabling them to provide the best possible support. What MIND also did was introduce a 'parachute document' for managers to use in 121s. In real basic terms, it was a questionnaire that helped identify what was causing the person problems, it covers the whole spectrum of mental illnesses (but is only a guide), but focuses mainly on identifying if someone is depressed, stressed (they're 2 different things chemically - stress is not a mental illness) or finally, 'swinging the lead'.... Whilst MIND are and were clearly focussed on supporting those with mental illness, they also helped the company with ways and means of identifying and dealing with the urine takers.... Someone better get on to MIND and tell them how un-empathetic they are, believing some people could try and blag it.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 12:38 am  

I've always had what I would say a mild underlying problem with depression but nothing i didn't think i could manage, the trouble is though it was that illusion of control that stopped me getting help, if anyone has mild depression ibwould strongly suggest getting help now, because there can come a time you hit rock bottom and without support and a touch of luck you can quite easily do something silly to yourself.
I'm still not over it but i am over the sucidal thoughts, and don't ever think it won't happen to you, the brain is a powerful organ and it can do strange things under duress.

Been good to get that off my chest if I'm honest, thank you to the others too, it's a sign of strength to be open about your weaknesses, thank you.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 5:20 am  

Wire Yed wrote:

I've always had what I would say a mild underlying problem with depression but nothing i didn't think i could manage, the trouble is though it was that illusion of control that stopped me getting help, if anyone has mild depression ibwould strongly suggest getting help now, because there can come a time you hit rock bottom and without support and a touch of luck you can quite easily do something silly to yourself.
I'm still not over it but i am over the sucidal thoughts, and don't if ever think it won't happen to you, the brain is a powerful organ and it can do strange things under duress.

Been good to get that off my chest if I'm honest, thank you to the others too, it's a sign of strength to be open about your weaknesses, thank you.

Like I said before it's great to hear others have gone through this......again, not that I mean that I wish this on you or other people......I wish you hadn't endured this but I mean to be not alone in this means a lot. When the talk of Bailey's depression first appeared on this thread I had a lot of indecision about if I was comfortable enough to be able to add to this topic.

6 years ago I took a kitchen knife with me to bed with the intention to end my life and the only thing that stopped me is that my father had a son from a previous marriage that had been murdered in 2003 and I had to watch him bury a son......no father should have to do that and my father who was always tough as bricks I saw a wreck in tears and the thought that he'd have to do that again was the only thing that stopped me.

The one that I'm ashamed of is that unlike others on here I continually refuse to get professional help. The daft thing is, I do know it's whats best for me...but like Smokey said, depression can show itself as lack of motivation and I haven't had the motivation to seek help.

That and the other symptoms he mentions "lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, lack of energy, avoiding social activities and contact with friends and a higher propensity for substance".....

I'm lucky if I get 3 hours sleep a day, I push friends away when they organise social activities and make excuse for not attending and for substance abuse I absolutely hammer vodka and cociane on a regular basis......not proud of it but it's what gets me through the days unfortunately.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 7:06 am  

The one principle I work hard to live by is to force myself out of my comfort zone every single day, it's only then that the condition improves. 'The things you feel least like doing are the things you need to be doing', it's like a job in itself making the right decisions every minute of everyday, build the wall one brick at a time. One thing that's saved me is being ultra competitive, I'll not take it lying Down.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 7:13 am  

Fairplay to everybody whose opened up on here. Thankfully, not something I've had to endure, but those who've been brave enough to talk about it surely can only lead to others suffering in silence to not be ashamed and talk to their friends/family about it

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 8:03 am  

On the stance of cynicism can we really afford to be cynical about something that takes so many lives. I'd rather be taken in by the very small minority than have a view which serves only the person holding it. Strange how peoples immediate response to the revelation of physical illness isnt one of cynicism. I've no doubt I too have 'friends' who dismiss my illness because they think they know me.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:53 am  

As a fellow sufferer, I've found reading this thread both sad and inspirational. The one thought that always goes through my mind is "Nobody understands or cares", to hear of others has brought home that I'm not alone. Far from it. For me it's a constant battle to find ways of taking me away from myself, if that even makes sense. I've found a few things in life that just seem to lift me, and inspire me, and its always about motivating myself to do those things rather than the routine get up-go to work-go home-drink myself stupid-repeat. Sometimes i manage it, other times (most of the time) i slump into the rut.

As for the cynicism, i understand it. Like some have said, human nature is such that people will always take advantage of certain situations to make things better for themselves. That said, and whatever the reasons for Bailey coming out, if it inspires just one other person to not suffer in silence, then for me it's worth it.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 9:56 am  

FarsleySteve wrote:

As a fellow sufferer, I've found reading this thread both sad and inspirational. The one thought that always goes through my mind is "Nobody understands or cares", to hear of others has brought home that I'm not alone. Far from it. For me it's a constant battle to find ways of taking me away from myself, if that even makes sense. I've found a few things in life that just seem to lift me, and inspire me, and its always about motivating myself to do those things rather than the routine get up-go to work-go home-drink myself stupid-repeat. Sometimes i manage it, other times (most of the time) i slump into the rut.

As for the cynicism, i understand it. Like some have said, human nature is such that people will always take advantage of certain situations to make things better for themselves. That said, and whatever the reasons for Bailey coming out, if it inspires just one other person to not suffer in silence, then for me it's worth it.

Great post!

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 11:28 am  

FarsleySteve wrote:

As a fellow sufferer, I've found reading this thread both sad and inspirational. The one thought that always goes through my mind is "Nobody understands or cares", to hear of others has brought home that I'm not alone. Far from it. For me it's a constant battle to find ways of taking me away from myself, if that even makes sense. I've found a few things in life that just seem to lift me, and inspire me, and its always about motivating myself to do those things rather than the routine get up-go to work-go home-drink myself stupid-repeat. Sometimes i manage it, other times (most of the time) i slump into the rut.

As for the cynicism, i understand it. Like some have said, human nature is such that people will always take advantage of certain situations to make things better for themselves. That said, and whatever the reasons for Bailey coming out, if it inspires just one other person to not suffer in silence, then for me it's worth it.

I've had personal experience of this horrible illness and I've never read anything that comes close to describing it as well as you have. A brilliant post. Thank you mate.

Re: Ryan Bailey : Fri Jan 22, 2016 11:46 am  

So Bailey has done something good by coming out about this .Thankyou Bails