: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:54 pm  

Man walks into a shop and says "can I have a kitkat chunky", the shop assistant hands the man a big kitkat, the man takes a look at it and says "let me rephrase that, CAN I HAVE A KITKAT FATTY"

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:59 pm  

One morning, two 80-year-old men sat talking about the weather and the latest in medical science and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other elderly man isn't familiar with Viagra and asks the first man what is it for.

The first man says, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of thirty."

The second man then asks, "Can you get it over the counter?"

"You probably could, if you took two pills," replies the first man.

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 3:59 pm  

Gare Girl wrote:

A woman walks into a hairdressers in Hull and asks 'have you got time to do me a perm?'

The hairdresser replies 'certainly madam, I wandered lernly as a cloud...'

That's very good.

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:00 pm  

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?


Justice Fingers.

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:01 pm  

debaser wrote:

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?


Justice Fingers.

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:12 pm  

What do you do if you see a spaceman?


Park the car man.

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:54 pm  

debaser wrote:

What do you do if you see a spaceman?


Park the car man.

Quality old school jokes...

Bloke goes into a pub with a pork pie on his head. Barman looks at him funny and asks "why do you have a pork pie on your head?" Bloke replies "its Wednesday i always wear a pork pie on my head on a Wednesday" Barman looks confused and says "but its Tuesday", First bloke says "Oh no, i bet i look a right fool"

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:21 pm  

A drunk goes into a bar and says "Anyone here own a 6ft penguin?"

Everybody says no.

The drunk says "Ah crap. I've run over a nun"

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:56 pm  

Woman goes into a top department store and buys a mink coat.
Another customer asks her if she knows how many poor dumb animals have contributed to her purchase.
"Just one" replied the purchaser " and its his credit card"

: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:42 pm  

. . . funny . . . . but this is a family board - Bullpower