The Queen hosts a garden party in Scotland. When the Scottish waiter arrives with a tray of cakes, she asks, "Is that a scone, or a meringue?"



The waiter replies: "Naw, yer quite right, that's a scone."

I went to a fortune-teller and asked if I was going to ever get sent to prison in my future.



"No" she said, so I robbed her.

A man walks into a library and asked if they had any books about suicide. The librarian says "Have a look at the end of Row S, top shelf".



The man goes over, and then in a minute, he comes back. "I had a look, but the whole shelf is empty".



"Ah, yes", says the librarian, "...no fkcer ever brings 'em back"

I heard facebook had published a list of 71 genders, but when I looked there was only 70!



Someones hidden a gender if you ask me



(probably sam smith haha)

Sadly the biggest / best joke i know is our club.

If a Fax/Hudd/Kley supporter had posted that I can guess what the response would be

In much the same way that I can call my girlfriend fat. But I don't expect you to. It's not difficult to understand.



Although, to be fair, we are drifting back into joke club again. It may be a laughing matter for Fax/Hudd/Kley fans, but it really isn't for us long-suffering, lied to and ripped off again Bulls fans.



Still, laugh it up, mate.

As we appear to imminently be walking in a sewage shower whilst looking up at the sky with our mouths open, I want this topic to stay light and fluffy please.

I agree PP just responding to a post I don't recall making any Derogatory Comments or

Laughing

Tell us a joke then chief.

Two fish in a tank

One says to the other





How do you drive this thing

Peter starts his new job at the London Zoo and is given three tasks.



First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, Peter beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased; he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.



Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, Peter is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, Peter says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.



Peter moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage because lions eat anything.



Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, 'What's the food like here?'



The lion replies,



'Absolutely brilliant!..... Today we had fish, chimps & mushy bees.'