I only put scum because the swear filter won't allow anything stronger.

Which is odd, because I've had loads of s - literally hundreds - and he hasn't killed me even once.

To be fair, I'd be pretty vexed if someone touched my ark.

Really? I've touched your ark loads of times when you haven't been looking. If you want to kill me, it's fine. I probably deserve it.

Me too.

Kirkstaller on the other hand would clearly have to wait for the wife before consummating any desire.

I commend his patience.

I detect the hand of Job in this.

It'll be a joyless, functional experience when it does occur, I reckon. Particularly for her.

No second comming there either you reckon?

Nope. Reckon the whole experience is as dry as a communion wafer.

Ok,Kirkstaller...you finally convinced me, but I've just found some interesting questions and would appreciate your impeccable advice:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Poles, but not Slovaks. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Slovaks?



2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?



3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.



4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?



5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?



6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?



7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?



8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?



9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?



10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

You could at least have credited the original author of those questions. Like tb did when he posted them about 10 pages back...

Next question.



Are we allowed to kill plagiarists?

you can't, god can do what the feck he wants.