Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:59 pm  

tedglen wrote:

Tommy Coopers "Itchy teeth"
As simple as it could possibly get, but equally brilliant.

Tommy Cooper doing anything is genius, but the story with the hat changing has me in stitches EVERY time

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:00 pm  

Standee wrote:

last time I had the misfortune to see him (Bridlington, last year) he repeated himself 3 times, was embarrassing to see someone with an undoubted talent clearly being flogged by management, he should have bowed out 15 years ago, when he ceased to be funny.

I doubt very much it's any management making him continue – if he retired, he'd die, I think.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:09 pm  

Saw Doddy A few weeks ago at Blackpool. He came on stage @ 7 and the staff kept showing him a big clock from 11pm onwards to get him to finish, which he did at just gone midnight. He had a couple of support acts with him but he still did over 3 hours himself, in his slippers

He forgot his punchlines once or twice but it made the act even funnier and he still has great singing voice. His routine with Dicky Mint still cracks me up even though its over 20 years since I saw it the first time. Bloke is a comedy legend.

Best joke of the night:

How do you get a fat girl into bed?

A: Piece of cake

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:13 pm  

Joke from Bill Bailey's latest tour..

Mnemonics.... I can never remember how to spell that

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:13 pm  

Mintball wrote:

This was the late '80s: he was wonderfully generous - and the most amazing performer I have ever seen.

He could afford to be, he didn't pay tax, unless of course the communists came and nicked it from him as he feared.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:26 pm  

rover49 wrote:

He could afford to be, he didn't pay tax, unless of course the communists came and nicked it from him as he feared.

I wasn't actually meaning financially generous.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:39 pm  

Standee wrote:

l...he should have bowed out 15 years ago, when he ceased to be funny.

Good one.



What? You were being serious? Er, well let me just gently point out that he IS bloody funny, as another 15 years of continuing sellout audiences testify.

It's just you.

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 5:25 pm  

rover49 wrote:

He could afford to be, he didn't pay tax, unless of course the communists came and nicked it from him as he feared.

He is the self-proclaimed "International Playboy and failed Accountant"

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:36 pm  

One of the funniest men I've ever seen was Les Dawson.

I couldn't tell you what I think is his funniest joke, but here's a couple:

"I’ve got a friend who's a lion tamer. He used to be a school teacher, until he lost his nerve."

"The people next door are awful. At three o’clock this morning they were banging on the walls and screaming. Good job I wasn’t trying to sleep — I was playing my drums at the time."

"My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren’t that lonely."

"The mother-in-law is so ugly, when she goes on holiday, the mosquitoes draw lots to see who is going to bite her"

Re: Your favourite joke from a comedian? : Thu Nov 07, 2013 7:42 pm  

Ferocious Aardvark wrote:

"My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren’t that lonely."

That one is a classic, and terribly sexist too


And now I thought I'd be clever and Google some old Les Dawson jokes, but I found this instead...

There was an old farmer from Greece
Who did terrible things to his geese
But he went too far with a budgerigar
And the parrot phoned the police