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oops my bad... smite me down.
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| Player Coach | 10852 | No
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| Oct 2006 | 18 years | |
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| Jan 2018 | Aug 2016 | LINK |
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According to Didier Drogba, God made them win the Champions' League. So he won't intervene to stop people starving or dying of cancer, but he does directly influence football matches.
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| Player Coach | 1318 | No
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| Nov 2008 | 16 years | |
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| Quote Chief Stinkwort="Chief Stinkwort"Ok,Kirkstaller...you finally convinced me, but I've just found some interesting questions and would appreciate your impeccable advice:
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Poles, but not Slovaks. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Slovaks?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)'"
Already been done about 10 pages back  |
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| International Chairman | 32466 | No
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| Feb 2002 | 23 years | |
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| Aug 2018 | Aug 2018 | LINK |
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| Quote Rock God X="Rock God X"According to Didier Drogba, God made them win the Champions' League. So he won't intervene to stop people starving or dying of cancer, but he does directly influence football matches.'"
Quite clearly this is true, a god of some description is indeed a football fan, why only a couple of months ago he saved the life of a Premier football player after stopping his heart for 30 minutes, just for fun, because god can do that, and lots of people in the ground and lots of newspaper readers prayed to that god and that god saved that football player, it is written.
One month later god then stopped the heart of a London marathon runner but not enough people prayed for that woman and so he kept that heart stopped for he is a selfish bas'tard and vain along with it, a lethal combination in a god. |
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| Player Coach | 22320 | No
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| Mar 2006 | 19 years | |
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| Feb 2025 | Sep 2019 | LINK |
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Ah prayer, If you were choking would you want me to do the heimlich manoeuvre or pray for you?
And remember God might be to busy giving AIDS to african babies to help you.
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| Club Coach | 3169 | No
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| Mar 2005 | 20 years | |
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| Jan 2025 | Mar 2024 | LINK |
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| Quote Chief Stinkwort="Chief Stinkwort"
Is masturbation allowed in your rule-book?'"
Eww! Won't the pages get awfully sticky? |
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| Rank | Posts | Team |
| International Chairman | 37704 | No
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| Joined | Service | Reputation |
| May 2002 | 23 years | |
| Online | Last Post | Last Page |
| Aug 2018 | Aug 2018 | LINK |
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| Quote ryano="ryano"Eww! Won't the pages get awfully sticky?'"
Why do you think god invented Kindle? |
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| International Chairman | 37704 | No
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| Joined | Service | Reputation |
| May 2002 | 23 years | |
| Online | Last Post | Last Page |
| Aug 2018 | Aug 2018 | LINK |
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| Cameron hints at which way he'll be voting:
His new bouffant hairstyle suits him, at least it's helping to cover up his recently developed bald spot |
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| Player Coach | 5506 | No
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| Mar 2010 | 15 years | |
| Online | Last Post | Last Page |
| Nov 2024 | Jun 2024 | LINK |
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| Quote Chief Stinkwort="Chief Stinkwort"Ok,Kirkstaller...you finally convinced me, but I've just found some interesting questions and would appreciate your impeccable advice:
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Poles, but not Slovaks. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Slovaks?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)'"
have you tried consulting 'The RFL Guide to Refereeing Practices' (2002 ed) ? look under the section IV - Disciplinary Procedures - Grade 3 Offences |
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| Rank | Posts | Team |
| International Chairman | 47951 | No
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| Joined | Service | Reputation |
| May 2002 | 23 years | |
| Online | Last Post | Last Page |
| Aug 2017 | Jul 2017 | LINK |
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| Quote New Scientist="New Scientist"UK national treasure David Attenborough revealed this week that he gets hate mail from creationists for not crediting God for the wonders of nature in his documentaries.
"They always mean beautiful things like hummingbirds," he told [iRadio Times[/i magazine. "I always reply by saying that I think of a little child in east Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball. The worm cannot live in any other way, except by burrowing through eyeballs."'"
[url=http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/01/eye-burrowing-worms-national-t.htmlFull story[/url |
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| Rank | Posts | Team |
| International Star | 1085 | No
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| Joined | Service | Reputation |
| Oct 2011 | 13 years | |
| Online | Last Post | Last Page |
| Oct 2015 | Jun 2015 | LINK |
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| Quote Mintball="Mintball"[url=http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/01/eye-burrowing-worms-national-t.htmlFull story[/url'"
"National treasure" just doesn't seem to do this guy justice. |
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| International Chairman | 47951 | No
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| May 2002 | 23 years | |
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| Aug 2017 | Jul 2017 | LINK |
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Indeed.
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